The History of AIDS, My Side of the Story

We are all aware of the old saying about the "Big Pink Elephant" in the middle of the room, the one that should be painfully obvious, but yet everyone strangely ignores. To me, that is what the issue of HIV/AIDS seems to be.

Sometimes, in human history, the larger and more murderous and tyrannical the pink elephant is, the more its existence will be denied. Such was the case in the 1930's and 40's in Germany, as the holocaust of millions of Jewish people were herded and frightened into boarding cattle cars, because they were told they would be saved, but instead were soon to be taken to their chemical deaths while being told they could have a nice shower. That elephant was ignored by an entire country and most of the world just a couple of generations ago. There are still survivors of it among us, begging we always remember to keep our eyes out for pink elephants.

I think such an elephant is here again, at this juncture of human history for very good reasons, because mankind can learn and grow from it. Such surely seems the purpose for all pink elephants. To move us all forward. I think the pink elephant is a patient and waiting teacher to all who are willing to learn its secrets. I myself am thankful for what it has taught me. I have learned about my own self, and my loved ones, and about all of my fellow human beings with whom I share this planet. The beast has taught me about courage, and faith, and hope. It has taught me about human nature, human ignorance, human spirit, human ego, and human emotions. It has taught me the most important lessons of my life about human forgiveness, tolerance, acceptance, justice, equality, dignity, freedom, and, most importantly, it has taught me the amazing power of human love. Who knows what more gifts and lessons this creature will yet teach me and all others who have the courage to embrace it, befriend it, and seek to learn from it.

As I have been out in the gay community since before the word AIDS meant anything other than a teachers assistant, I have seen the entire issue up close from beginning to now. I have had friends and lovers both diagnosed and die. And for a long time, I have been doing what I can to inform our community of the big pink elephant that few can admit to. I know I am not alone. I know thousands of others also see the elephant just as clearly as I do.

How it began……

About 30 years ago, in Dade Florida, a group of gay men stood up to ask for equal rights. There was soon a swelling of anger and intolerance aimed at them. First it was led by Anita Bryant. She was the ex-wife of Bing Crosby and was absolutely homophobic. Makes me wonder if Bing or some other lover jilted her for some boyfriend. Soon, Anita Bryant was joined in by the so called “moral majority”, and other religious evangelists and extremists. For 20 years, you could not turn on your Sunday morning TV, without tuning in the evangelizing religious broadcasts, and without hearing most of the evangelists railing that homoexuals were an afront to God, and were going to hell. It was excrutiatingly painful for a gay man to hear such as that. College students around the nation at the time were wearing t-shirts declaring “Bury a Fairy” and “Kill a Queer”. Some people were even calling for a movement to instill capital punishment to be instituted for all homosexuals.

Being gay at that time could be excrutiatingly emotionally painful. One day, I was helping my brother-in-law repair his roof along with some of his friends. The conversation of "homos" came up, and one of his friends said "They should all have a stick of dynamite stuck up their asses and be blown off the planet." Everyone laughed, but me, of course.

I came from a typically dysfunctional family, had a very abusive father myself, and I already had a had a lot of self loathing, and things like this kind of hatefulness didn’t help. I had left my own family in 1976, at the age of 18, and moved to Florida. I did this so my family would not ever find out that I was gay. I was hoping I would somehow go straight, or at least not be around to embarass my family if I didn't. And I did try. But being in the closet, or being with a girl who I was decieving was even more painful and lonely than being in the closet.

It was very difficult to care about myself when the message I received from society and from those close to me was so clearly despising of me for something I could not change any more than one could change their skin color or what race they come from. Gay society was all about fear. Fear of one's family disowning them, fear of being gay bashed, fear of being bashed by police, fear of losing your job or being kicked out of the military, and on and on. It was very difficult and a very stressful time. Attempting to have a relationship with someone seldom worked, as most all gays were so self loathing and self destructive. And if a person doesn't love their own self, they don't seem do a very good job of loving anyone else, either.

Back then, in the late 70’s and 80’s, gays were coming out of the closets in droves. Hundreds of thousands of gay men came out but were also often extremely self destructive and fell under a lot of painful emotions like shame and guilt and self loathing and apathetic hopelessness and helplessness and inner despair and death wishes. Many gay men came from these evangelist and “morally righteous” and supposedly
Christian families, and upon coming “out” of their closets, were often promptly told “Don’t ever talk to me again, don’t ever even call home, you are not my son”. These men were told that god hated them. They were told they were going to hell. They were told they had been disowned.

Gays had been deeply cut down by the blades of intolerance based in religious fanaticism, and most very much internalized it.

The message to this generation of gays was clear: "Get off the planet before we do it for you". The were not wanted, by their society, by their family, by their friends, and supposedly not even by the God of their childhood, and should exit the planet as quickly and orderly as possible, and go straight to hell.

Intense fear, stress, drugs, self loathing, STD's, mega-doses of antibiotics, bad diets, broken hearts, and being disowned by your family are all devastating to mind, body, and spirit. How much can a person take before something breaks?

It really does not take any brilliant scientist or doctor to understand that these people were not going to be very healthy for long. When a person is young, they can usually take a lot of abuse and toxins, but all anyone really needs to get good and sick, or even to die, is one too many straws to break the camels back.

So, lots of these poor fools whose hearts and spirits were now broken, became very self destructive, wished they were dead, turned into drug and sex addicts, and basically self destructed and ended up sick and dead. They often could not get enough poppers to sniff, crystal meth, coke, and every other drug available at the time, and there were lots of them. Most all gays were either alcoholics or drug addicts or sex addicts to some degree or another. That was what most gays did, and the rest followed along.

I had moved to San Diego in 79, and met my own first boyfriend. It wasn't long before he started shooting up crystal meth and selling his own body to pay for it. During that time, I for the very first time read in the local paper about some "Mysterious disease hits gay men". The year was 1981. It was a story about 5 gay men in LA that were coming down with illnesses and not recovering.

Upon reading that story, I myself, as well as every other gay man, was stricken with fear. If there was some deadly disease going around gaydom, my own boyfriend was putting both of our lives in jeopardy. I tried everything I could to stop him from drug addiction and selling his ass. The more I tried, the worse he got. I was slowly but steadily more and more freaked out and panic stricken for both of our lives. The stress of that alone caused me to lose everything and end up in the street, as I was emotionally wrecked and unable to eat, sleep, work, or function. I am well aware of how intensely debilitating ones emotions can become.

Now, of course, I look back on that first story of five sick gay men, and I see it for what it is. Stressed out and self destructive and drug addicted gay men who eventually got very sick from it all. No big mystery there. The fact is, that in these first five cases in LA, where illnesses were found in 5 gay men, they were men who did not know or even have sex with each other, and did not even have any sexual partners in common. Lots of us were self destructively making ourselves sick back then. Some doctor noticed 5 such instances and the doctor freaked out too. Of course, I am sure the patients never bothered to fill the doctor in on just how self destructive each of those patients were. And I don't blame them for not telling him what a bunch of self destructive sex and drug addicted individuals they were. I am sure they themselves were too embarrassed to be honest with him. They probably were not even honest with themselves about it.

After way less than even a hundred of these gay illnesses and deaths, the press had already whipped up the belief that since it was only happening to gays, it must be a virus involved, and of course, it must be sexually related. The BBC had even reported these deaths as a mysterious virus in 1982, a full two years before Robert Gallo claimed he found the probable viral cause.

The increasing hypes in the press caused even more panic and terror in the gay communities.

If you look at the situation of the National Institutes of health at the time, you can clearly tell that the “virologists” who had been working for the government in the failed “Cancer Virus program, which was looking for some virus to explain why people get cancer, were about to loose funding and position of control at the NIH as no “Cancer Virus” had been found in 25 years. They were facing loss of jobs, and they were desperately looking for funding to continue their now diminishing dominance at the National Institutes of Health. The group who controls the most funding, controls the Institutes and its agendas. The virologists have now been in control there for 40 years now. Likely, this explains why there is a new viral panic every year like bird flu, sars, etc. They seem to need a good public scare to keep their funding flowing. Naturally, the virologists need a virus to exist to hold their power. And it better be a great big and scary virus. And naturally, virologists only see viruses as the cause of everything bad in the world.

The virologists conveniently ignored the toxicity of sniffing massive amounts of amyl nitrite poppers, and ignored the toxicity of the crystal meth epidemic. Meth was cooked up by mixing all kinds of toxic chemicals and acids. Those taking the crap had their teeth rotting out and were constantly broken out in festering sores and scabs that they constantly picked at. The virologists ignored the self destructive drug addiction, alcoholism, antibiotics overuse, bad diets, and intense stress levels. They completely ignored it and all they could see was dirty gay men spreading their dirty killer viruses.

So, the HIV issue began 25 years ago, after a few hundred deaths, when it was pronounced by a scientist seeking riches and glory, on the very steps of the White House, when Robert Gallo, an National Cancer Institutes virologist/scientist at the employ of the American citizenry, stood on the white house steps, with Margaret Heckler, Secretary of Health, and declared to the world press that he had found the "PROBABLE" cause of why gay men were dying.

But the press went to the public with the story that the cause of AIDS was found and it was a "retrovirus", whatever that was. You could count retrovirologists on one hand at the time. By the way, Gallo's White House proclamation of discovering a cause of immune dysfunction is totally against the way science is even supposed to work. They are supposed to publish their studies in peer reviewed journals so others can verify it to be accurate before claiming they have something. But there were almost no "retrovirologists" around to comprehend his study anyway.

It was not until two full weeks after the press conference, that Gallo had even published his so-called “evidence” in scientific journals where others could even check his work. The evidence he published was weak indeed. It simply showed that ONLY 36 percent of his AIDS patients had “evidence of”, not isolated virus, but evidence of reverse transcriptase activity, that he assumed was “retroviral activity”, and his 36 percent was not even of an actual isolated retrovirus itself.

I guess Gallo kind of skirted the proclamation before publishing issue by calling it "probable" and using the word "maybe" in his study. And Reagan’s team, who was accused of doing nothing about gay men dying wanted to be seen as being on top of it for his upcoming re-election campaign.

Amazingly, Three months later, the guys at the NIH were calling Gallo's discovery "The virus that causes AIDS". No new evidence or proof of this, just their proclamation.

But any way you look at it, the evidence for HIV (then called htlv-iii) was still fairly week, because, if any such a retrovirus were causing the problem, it would certainly needed to have been clearly found, not just evidence of it possibly being there by detecting reverse transcriptase activity, in 100 percent, not a mere 36 percent of the AIDS patients.

Once Gallo made his claim, it was too late. On the same day as his press conference, Gallo also patented his "antibody" test. The test was never meant to be a diagnostic tool, but was a took used to keep the public blood supply test to keep donors from donating if they had any evidence of potential problems.

The government promptly threw millions of dollars at Gallo and at the National Institutes of Health. Those guys were never going to give up all of their newly job and financial security.

All of the antibody tests do not even find any actual virus. They were never meant to be used for diagnostic use, and they even say they are not for diagnostic use right on their labels. Thy only find antibodies that are believed, not proven, to be associated with it. Great test for an overall survey of someone’s antibody responses, and maybe a great way to keep the blood supply safe from possible contaminents, but a terribly meaningless way to give anyone a diagnoses. All HIV antibody tests say right on their label that they are not able to verify a virus to connect to these antibodies.

After Gallo's public proclamation, the French were stunned, as they had sent samples to Gallo in hopes that HE and the NIH would verify a connection to why gays were getting ill.

The French researcher, Luke Montagnier, of the French “Pasteur Institute”, whose lab had originally isolated something they thought might be the cause of illness immediately sued Gallo and the US in international courts, because they noticed the molecular weights of the proteins for Gallo's antibody blood supply safety test were the same ones they had been trying to patent for several months themselves. But Gallo got his antibody test patented, theirs, though identical and filed earlier, did not.

Instead of spending time to verify that hiv, called htlv-iii (Montagnier’s original at the time, was even the cause of illness, and instead of verifying the proteins were from htlv-iii, and not from many other causes, they instead fought for a couple of years over who would get the royalties from the antibody test. Finally the prime minister of France and President Reagan sat down at the White House, and simply agreed to split the royalties from the test, with no admissions of Gallo's work being based on their own preliminary work.

After the White House settlement, an international panel decided to rename Luc's LAV which was Gallo's htlv-iii to HIV. And they simply declared it to be the "Human Immunodeficiency Virus and therefore the cause of AIDS. How nice. A viral disease by proclamation! And that is how the two words, HIV and AIDS began.

No further and no more solid connection of a retrovirus called HIV to AIDS has ever been established, and all studies up to the present rely solely on Bob Gallo’s meager evidence of 36% of his blood samples, showing evidence only of reverse transcriptase activity, as the entire foundation of the belief in HIV as the cause of AIDS.

Needless to say, of course, with the hatred and homophobia and blades of intolerance cutting them down, and now the total paranoia and fear and stress of a barely if at all detectable retrovirus doing the same, many hundreds of thousands of the gay community became completely emotionally distraught and utterly self destructive. With the word in the street that there was a killer virus going around, we were all panicked and stressed absolutely out of our minds. Lots of us believed if there was a God, he surely did hate us and he was about to take us all out. We were all terrified inside, no matter how much we joked or smiled. It was like a resignation to death for a lot of us. But even that did not stop our desire for sex. Or , was it our desire to leave a cold and hateful and terrifying planet?

 The additional paranoia and stress took additional tolls. A lot of gays sunk even lower emotionally and did any and all possible to escape the painful feelings they felt inside. Many turned into more massive alcoholics and drug addicts. Anyone springing positive on the tests crumpled up and often needed to be carried out of the testing center. There was nothing more stressful in all of the world than being told you “were infected” with the death virus. All believed their life was over and that if they ever had sex with anyone they would kill them. Panic and terror and hopelessness and shame and guilt fell over them like a ton of bricks. Most just wanted to die sooner than later and just get it over with. A lot tried to escape by even more drug abuse. Drug addiction soared to greater heights. Many turned into even more hard core sex addicts, and needed even more massive treatments of antibiotics for STD's. (I am sure you know that antibiotics overuse is highly detrimental to health as well, and opens you up to systemic yeast infections).

By 1987, there were only about 600 deaths up till that point that were earlier called GRID and later called AIDS. Then, in 1987, Gallo and his lab, with Burroughs Wellcome footing the bill and providing the drug, a very toxic chemotherapy drug called AZT was given to all who test HIV positive on the antibody tests. It was approved after only 4 months of trial, as the gays were screaming for a cure and ACT UP coined the phrase "Silence = Death".

AZT was given to every single person who tested as HIV positive from 1987 to 1995. It was a failed cancer chemotherapy drug. It failed as a chemo drug because it was too deadly and killed all of the test animals that it was given to. But that did not stop anyone from giving it to gays who supposedly had a immune system problem.

The exact years of high deaths said to be due to HIV are the EXACT YEARS of AZT MONOTHERAPY.

AZT works by keeping cells from reproducing. But many cells in the body, such as in ones gut, need to reproduce quickly or the body will suffer and die. Those who took AZT from 87 to 95 lasted an average of 8 months to 1-1/2 years. About 300,000 to 500,000 of them. That's a lot.

An overall recipe for disaster. What stress and drug addiction and self destructive behavior didn't destroy, AZT did. I myself watched the people taking that drug just melt before my eyes in just a few months. From where I am seeing it, and have for a very long time, this is what AIDS in the western world is.

In Africa, again, it does not take a rocket scientist to understand that people with no food, dirty water, no jobs, no home or living in a shack, no future, unbearable stress, meager starvation level diets, helplessness and hopelessness abounding, are not going to be healthy people. it is merely the results of extreme poverty, near starvation diets, dirty drinking water, and lives lived in hopeless helpless apathy, with inner death wishes thrown in for good measure. The leading actual cause of death in South African "AIDS" patients has always been tuberculosis. Tuberculosis is also well proven to cause HIV antibody tests to show false positive. This is AIDS in Africa.

The tyrannical belief in HIV and AIDS itself is based on promoting the belief that a nearly invisible, if even existent virus, called HIV, is sexually spread and causes AIDS, while all involved, continue to ignore every other obvious reason.

What is completely ignored, is that stress itself is absolutely destructive to ones immune system. Stress can shrink the thymus gland, where ones "T Cells" are created, by as much as 50% in just 24 hours. The "T" in T-Cell stands for thymus! But what would a retrovirologist know about all of that. Much easier for them to claim it is due to a retrovirus that is only found in less than one in one thousand T cells, and blame that for all the damage.

The means used to determine who will be labeled as HIV are highly flawed “HIV” tests. These tests are proven to blow off as HIV positive for 70 factors that are published in scientific journals. The list of factors that can cause a test to blow are even inclusive of such silly things as flu, flu vaccinations, herpes, hepatitis, tuberculosis, pregnancy, and even receptive anal sex. All are proven to have caused false positive results on these tests, but even those giving or taking the tests are not notified of these facts.

They are often given three different types of tests, but all three have the same inherent flaws. They are not based on finding an, y actual virus, they are based on finding antibody responses “believed” to be due to a retrovirus. God only knows what they are due to, and it seems it can be many many things and factors.

Since 1995, less toxic, though still highly deadly drugs have been administered to all HIV positives. It was found by researcher Amy Justice in 2002 http://www.healtoronto.com/justice_liver.html that the now leading cause of death, ever since AZT monotherapy ended around 1995, in American HIV positives, has been and still is Liver Failure, directly related to who was taking the current drugs. The drugs have been claimed as “life saving drugs” by those whose fortunes, stocks, and jobs rely on them. They are also touted as such by those who are responsible for having poisoned hundreds of thousands to death with AZT, or disfigured patients with lypodystrophy, or caused their liver failure. Corporate pharmaceutical entities have gotten these drugs quickly and easily passed by use of what is called “Fast Tracking”, a system whereby drugs are easily and quickly approved based on the flimsiest of study results that are fully controlled by the company whose drug is on the line. The “testing centers” are fully controlled and paid for by these companies, as well as are the results of the studies that will be submitted to gain approvals. The AIDS drug trial centers are a good ole boys network filled with multimillionaires who are paid many thousands of dollars for every volunteer who they experiment on. Most of them have huge stock in the drug companies.

The most recent HIV test, the Orasure Oraquick test, was found to be putting out a "verified" false positive rate of 25% in 2005.

http://www.10news.com/health/5577993/detail.html

It has never been found out why, and the test is still the most common HIV test. Often, in 3rd world countries, it is the ONLY test given, which would have a doctor here in the states bounced out for medical malpractice if he did such a thing.

Five months after the San Fran thing, in May of 2006, the CDC bought millions of dollars worth of that oraquick test and spread them around the gay and black communities, without even knowing why they were not working.

Two weeks ago, New York admitted they have had hundreds of the Oraquick test show up false poz, and have just banned their use.

The straight media has had article after article hyping up how the poverty stricken, malnourished in third world countries are all dying from sex, instead of from the obvious fact that these people are stressed beyond breaking from no food, no clean water, no jobs, no future, and no hope.

Through the years, the gay media, also caught up in the panic, soon found itself economically tied to HIV/AIDS. Leading story after leading story by paranoid gay writers wrote article after article about the "plague". What can you say, but "Fear Sells" magazines and journals. The advertising has been unbelievably profitable to gay media. AIDS doctors, health ads, 3 page glossy ads for the toxic drugs, ads for hiv testing, and on and on and on. The Gay/Lesbian centers that are in every city across the United States became not gay community centers, they became primarily HIV/AIDS advocacy groups whose jobs and livelihoods relied on massive funding from the CDC and donations from HIV drug manufacturers. The "Do Gooders" in the community, who sincerely wanted to help, unwittingly flogged and whipped the gay communities into taking the worthless HIV antibody tests, and further whipped them into taking the toxic drugs that have always been at the heart of the causes of death. Those deaths have conveniently been called "Complications of AIDS", but anyone who thinks about it just for a moment will recognize that it was complications of AIDS drugs, and nothing having to do with any supposed HIV virus in most of the deaths. Liver failure has been the leading "Complication" that has caused since monotherapy AZT ended in 1995.

For 21 years, a lot of courageous people, including many outstanding scientists, doctors and researchers, including National Academy of Science members, Nobel Laureates, medical doctors, and laymen have fought and dueled with those at the top of promoting the lie.

Most are completely censored as kooks. Many of them, have been attacked by the mainstream as murderers, baby killers, denialists, etc. The scientists and doctors have often been drummed out of practice, stripped of funding, have had the universities or medical institutes or workplaces they work for hounded until they are thrown out, and have been labeled as “denialists”, murderers, and baby killers in the press.

You can find a society of them at “Rethinking AIDS” on the internet, or at Virusmyth, and many other sites.

The rot, in this issue, goes all the way to the top echelons of the US government. Donald Rumsfeld, Bush’s secretary of Defence, was the CEO of the most profitable AIDS drug manufacturer, Gilead Pharmaceuticals, until he joined Bush in 2001, he is still a large stockholder. As is Secretary of State George Schulz. For all I know, George Bush is as well. Now do you understand why George Bush was so happy to just approve 50 billion for AIDS drugs for Africa, provided they were spent on companies such as Gilead? At this very moment , the bill is waiting in congress and once approved, will be the very cause of more stress, terror, and ultimately more destruction by "Black Label" toxic drugs.

Yet, the researchers involved, tell the public and the reporters, that the new drugs are "life extending" and are so much better these days. I got news for them. A candy bar would be more life extending than the liver rotting drugs they are encouraging and promoting.

So in 25 years, despite now hundreds of billions thrown at it, no cure, no vaccine, and the drugs that are declared to be “life extending” are and always have been at the very core of the death in more than 90 percent of deaths said to be due to AIDS.

Only 50,000 guys died in Vietnam. The public was all up in arms about that. But 300,000 or more gay men poisoned by AZT? Most everyone, including most obviously still self loathing gays themselves, simply bury their collective heads in the sand and ignore it.

Hundreds of thousands more disfigured by lypodystrophy or died from liver failure, kidney failure, heat failure and cancers from the drugs. And all of this is just ignored by most people.

A very sad situation indeed. I hope, and pray you understand this is not some petty joke. The horror of this is resounding around the globe and has infected the minds of most of mankind. The horror yet continues wherein now hundreds of millions will slowly poison themselves to an early death, not to mention live under the false, terrifying, and disempowering spell and lie that they are sexually leperous “Angels of Death”, that if they dare to love anyone they will be the dark angel of death.

This insanity must end. Today, it is still spreading like wildfire mostly through the black community, but still through gaydom. It is straight up fanaticism and mass hysteria that is still continuing. All who have taken HIV tests or who have been harmed by the drugs must be given back their lives and dignity. They must stand up for this themselves, because otherwise they will not have it handed to them. They must take back their lives and their freedom, and all must be fully compensated with full reparations for the damage that has been done to them.

You can easily verify all that I have just presented. All is on the net and is plainly in public view. If you do not know where to look for verification of anything that I have just presented, let me know. I have watched this entire horror show play out. There are few my age who are still around. My entire generation of gay friends was almost wiped out.

I am one of the few from my own generation of gay men, to say "I Survived AIDS".

My only hope is that the world learn fully all of its lessons from this tragedy before any more lives are lost, blacks, gays, women, and children. And that is still happening every day.